Restaurant Review, The Victoria Inn
Pub Grub. Like It Or Lump It
Has pub grub got better or is it just the Instagram pictures that have improved? I wondered this during a recent meal at The Victoria Inn. It was a lovely sunny evening, we had nothing planned and then I remembered I'd seen some very tantalising pictures of the new Monday - Thursday prix-fixe menu at The Victoria Inn on Insta. Two courses, £18. What could go wrong?
Well, at least the price was certainly on point. I recently had a two-course set lunch at an Italian restaurant. It was in Waterloo and I won't name and shame but they also have a branch in Lordship Lane. Run of the mill bruschetta followed by a nice risotto was an eye-watering £33. OK, maybe I should see an optician, it clearly doesn't take much for my eyes to water, but I thought that wasn't such a good deal.
The Victoria Inn has a nice spot on the corner in Bellenden Village opposite the Begging Bowl. I remember it when it used to be The Wishing Well and the last time I ate here was when Meatwagon (or was it Meat Liquor?) had a catering van parked in the front. Instead of a dirty burger van there are now nice tables where you can kick back and watch the world go by. Or on this occasion watch the cool kids from Peckham stroll past in search of better places to eat.
There was waiter service but for speed we popped in to order drinks and food. For starters we went for spicy whitebait and tartare sauce. I expected a heap of small fried fish, instead we got a plated of sad slightly battered eyes looking up at us as if to say "what did we do to deserve this?" They actually tasted OK. Not particularly spicy but OK with a squirt from a wedge of lemon and a dip in the sauce.
Our other starter was roast beets, labneh, loveage pesto and smoked almonds. There was also pickled cucumber and peppers. Now that's what I call throwing everything on the plate and hoping that something sticks. I'm being unfair. It was all pretty nice, and actually the colourful combination of pickle, labneh and pesto worked well. Not a lot of nuance there but reader, I scoffed the lot.
So far things were fine. The real problem came with the mains. The chicken chasseur, roast garlic mash and cavolo nero sounded like the kind of dish that a French transport cafe could do in its sleep. I remember growing up and being told that if you wanted decent food at a rock bottom price in France on a driving holiday just stop at a transport cafe that has the Les Routiers sign outside and you won't be disappointed.
How hard can it be to cook a chicken leg? This one was, let’s just say, on the dry side. My partner who had ordered it tried to be generous and said that she liked slow cooked chicken. I said that was fair enough but this one looked as if it has been in the oven since June. I noticed that this menu is served from 3pm - 8pm and it was around 7.45pm, so I am guessing that maybe it had overstayed its welcome. On the plus side the mash was fluffy and the cavolo nero was crisp. The gravy was more congealed than we would have liked but, hey, did I mention the meal was £18?
I'd ordered king prawn linguine, chilli, tomato, garlic, lemon and parsley. What I got looked more like crab linguine, chilli, tomato, garlic, lemon and parsley. I didn't quite clock this when it was served and I waited for a waiter to come outside to mention it. And waited. I wasn't necessarily expecting a maitre d to emerge and ask us how our meal was – did I mention it was £18? – but as there were no waiters in sight I tucked in.
As it happened it was very nice, with plenty of crab meat and plump juicy tomatoes peeping out of the pasta. I was recently diagnosed with gout and one of the foods I'm supposed to avoid is prawns, so actually this was a bit of a lifesaver. But there was no explanation. Had they run out of prawns? Had it been a mistake in the kitchen? Did they have a lot of crab they needed to offload? What if I had a crab allergy?
We had paid when we ordered at the bar so there was nobody to come out with a bill who could shed some light on the shellfish mystery. And being a glutton I ate it all anyway, so apart from the picture here the evidence has been destroyed. Which reminds me of the Roald Dahl story where the wife kills her husband by whacking him with a leg of lamb then feeds the lamb to the police.
It was one of those meals where it wasn't so bad that you wanted to stamp your feet and complain and having paid upfront we couldn't be bothered with the faff of asking for a refund. It's a pub. It only cost £18. It's not got a Les Routiers plaque outside. Why should I have expected anything more? I blame those seductive Instagram posts.
The Victoria Inn, 77-79 Choumert Road, SE15 4AR